Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Top Ten Good Things About Retirement

I get a lot of questions about being (semi) retired.  Here are the top ten good things about being in that state.
  1. No one comes into your office and asks for a Powerpoint deck on project "Wiggly Wombat" with updates from our subsidiary in Elbonia and make sure you use the new company template
  2. Don't have to wear socks in the Summer
  3. No sitting in traffic on Highway 7 looking at Right Wing bumper stickers on cars like "Obozo Sucks" or "If you come for mine, you better bring yours"
  4. If you fart in your office, you don't have to worry about some poor employee walking in and being asphyxiated.
  5. Never have to wait at the printer while a colleague prints out 200 pages of their Mortgage Refinance application
  6. Your admin assistant always shows up, likes Doggie Biscuits, but needs a walk every few hours
  7. Can stay up late to watch that weird cable channel with the Swedish art films filled with naked blondes.
  8. Always up to date on latest Youtube viral videos like that one with the guy dressed like Superman in a rocket powered grocery cart with skis racing the snowmobile driven by a person in a gorilla suit with a squirrel passenger in front of the police station with a moose...
  9. No conference calls, no video meetings
  10. Can surf sites like "Girls in Yoga Pants" without getting blocked by the company policy server.

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