Monday, August 13, 2018

Advantages of Being An Old White Guy

Now that I am retired, I am definitely an old white guy (the blog picture is about 15 years old).  I am not the "get off my lawn, I love Trump, I have a weapon" old white guy, I am the kindly old white guy.  There are advantages to attaining this position in life:

  1. Police will often let you off the hook if they catch you speeding and you are polite since you are a law abiding kindly old white guy.
  2. You can look at sexy women and smile (no leering) and not get a dirty look.  You are completely harmless unless you have 1M points in the Viagra loyalty program.
  3. You can walk around with your fly undone and people assume that you are having a senior moment, not being a pervert.
  4. Every senior discount is yours for the asking.
  5. People will tolerate a little of the "back in the days before email" stories without rolling their eyes, but don't overdo it.
  6. No one will try to sell you thong underwear or Speedo bathing suits at the store.
  7. Children will put up with all your corny jokes and poor attempts at humour.
  8. The border guards hardly ever stop you to pay duty since you are a polite old white fellow.
  9. You can pass off all farts and burps as beneficial and medicinal.  "You don't want me to get acid reflux, do you??"  This works with most folks but not with your spouse, by the way.

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