Thursday, February 13, 2014

How to Shovel Snow at 56 Years Old

We just received 2 feet (60 cm for Canucks) of snow here in Northern Virginia, which is pretty unusual, and the schools, businesses, and governments are shut down.  I thought it would be best to share my snow shovelling tips as a 56 year old based on living in Canada and here in NoVa.

Set up a lawn chair in the garage so you can take frequent breaks and admire your work.  Bug the wife to bring coffee frequently.  Note Tim Hortons cup.

The Elbonian Heart Society recommends that the width of your shovel should be calculated as follows: (90 - age) * 0.70 = width of Shovel.  At 18, you have a big one, at 90, you don't have one at all.  At 56, you have a 24 inch shovel, use it wisely.

Leave a car outside to keep snow off the driveway.  When possible, make a tiny hole at the rear window and reverse quickly into the street, then brush all the snow onto the street.  It is advisable to check for people in the street before attempting this maneuver and a hearty shout of "WATCH OUT!!" is also helpful.

Leave a 2 foot unshoveled area near the road until the earlier of (1) you need to get out or (2) the plow dude has stopped plowing.  This will stop the caffeinated meth-crazed plow dude from dumping more hard snow and ice in your newly shovelled driveway.

1 comment:

  1. Didn't you leave out the part about hiring the neighbourhood kid?


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