medianet

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

I Deserve a Medal


 

We know that this pandemic requires us to limit our activity, limit our contact with people, wash our hands, and wear a mask.

I am a lazy introverted retired person who has followed these instructions to the letter and I deserve a medal for my efforts.

I try not to do anything other than watch TV, play around on the computer, eat and sleep.  Today, I watched the live feeds of the Northern Ireland Snooker championship and a Darts tournament on DAZN.  Other heroic deeds are my subscriptions to many paid streaming channels and watching the complete Borat 2 movie on Amazon Prime.  I  can also verify that the firmware is up to date on every electronic device that I own.

As an introvert, my interactions with people are usually brief.  I was never one for the hugs, small talk, and hanging around chatting.  In the last week, the only person in close proximity to me is my wife.  However, due to my regular intake of Metamucil and its gaseous effects, she may move out soon leaving me totally alone.

My new Apple Watch times my hand washings, which are frequent and at least 20 seconds long.  It does bug me a bit that my watch knows what I am doing with my hands at all times.

I wear a mask when indoors with people other than my wife.  I also contribute to mask wearing by glaring viciously at anyone not wearing a mask properly.  

I will be writing to the Governor General proposing a medal for all of us couch potatoes who are sacrificing during this pandemic.  Something like the "Award in Recognition of Heroic Feats of Laziness and Inactivity During the Pandemic".  The medal should feature a couch, a TV, a bag of chips, and a remote control along with the requisite Canadian symbols like the Maple Leaf.  No beavers allowed on this medal as it sends the wrong message.

1 comment:

  1. Whether you come to Vasant Vihar for personal or business reasons,Low budget Call Girls in Shimla you can always find the perfect love to spend your free time on Low Rate Call Girls in Shimla. To find your perfect match, take a look at the model’s page and explore each girl’s biography.Hi Profile Escorts in Agra You will find exquisite pictures of the models and information on body measurements, Cheap Escorts Service in Faridabad spoken languages and many other criteria to help you in your decision.Cheap Escorts Service in Faridabad The biographies pages also contain pricing information Top Call Girls in Gurgaon so you can see at what service levels different girls are available before making your booking.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are not moderated prior to posting. Mark